I'm not too sure why I made a revelife account but I do know that writing has kept me accountable over the years. I just got back from a conference and going in I was dry as the clays on desert ground and skeptical that He could stir anything in me. However as always and as I subconsciously expected, He did stir something in me. Maybe that's why I made a revelife account.
I've been born into a christian family and have been going to church as long as I can remember. I've heard stories about Job and of Jesus before I could even talk. But here I am old enough to say I'm an adult and I'm not sure if I really believe those stories and if I do, it hasn't affected me the way the gospel should.
I had a dream a few weeks ago about the ground cracking every time I walked on it. It was cemented and firmly built but once I stepped on it, it would break. 'My foundation is weak' I thought. And after the conference, more than anything I realize that my spiritual life is swayed solely by my emotions and nothing more. I don't have the discipline and I can't even refer to a man/woman of God in the Bible to write out my analogies. I'm ignorant of the Word. So basically I've been trying to lead this Godly christian life for years wondering why it won't last more than a couple of days. I don't have the foundation, I'm living off spiritual highs.
Yesterday I attempted at reading the Word. I really didn't know where to start. I want to be knowledgeable of the Bible and not just memorize a few lines from the new testament. So I thought, 'okay just start from the beginning and you'll learn the history and etc...' then to be discouraged by my own thought of 'you tried this before and you stopped at the second chapter of Genesis.'
I don't know where to begin and I don't think I remember how to really pray.
What I need is to be a baby christian once more, not saying that I'm any more mature than I was ever, but I need my foundation rebuilt.
Chatboard (0)